The Broken Women Among Us

Yesterday, the senior pastor and I went out to the Westside Pregnancy Resource Center in Santa Monica. Talitha Phillips, the Executive Director, gave us a tour of the facilities and then the three of us sat down to hear about the work the center does. This is an amazing organization. Not only do they do pregnancy care, crisis counseling, abortion alternatives counseling, single mother support groups, and ultrasounds, but they also provide supplies for new moms, help them find jobs and housing, work with pregnant women to tell their parents or boyfriends/husbands, and do abstinence/healthy dating instruction for youth groups and schools. As Talitha recounted stories of the women who come back to the center, broken and distraught after having an abortion, I was broken again for these women.

One of the most common groups of people who come in after having an abortion are Christians. "It is easier to come to the church with an abortion that to come to the church with an unplanned pregnancy." Talitha said that this quote epitomizes so much of the work they do. What is wrong with our churches that we tell our women that God will forgive them whatever they decide? God will, but why are we sending our women into pain, regret, and emotional turmoil? These women are so broken, and we send them from one sin straight into another, from one mistake into another. At what point do we truly partner with the organizations like Westside? When do we stop to spend time with them? To learn from them how we can love and support the women in our midst who are dealing with the turmoil of an unplanned pregnancy or the heartbreak of a past abortion? When will we start providing the resources and assistance that these women need so that abortion doesn't become their only option?

Then there are so many stories on the other side. Time and time again I hear the pain and anguish of the couples in my churches who have tried and tried to have children. These couples have been told that they are not able to have children, or they have grieved miscarriage after miscarriage. They are broken by their pain, and we are too often insensitive. I think about groups like MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). They gather to give support to other moms in their situations, which is exactly what we should do: share wisdom and encouragement. Then these women plan events like women's dinners or trips to special stores, and they exclude women who do not have children. So my sisters who have lost baby after baby are excluded from fellowship in the church because they have not been blessed with children of their own. They serve as Sunday School teachers or youth group leaders, working with the children of these other women, but they are not able to share fellowship with the women themselves. I think about the Father's Day sermon I sat through on Sunday, where we celebrated the men in the congregation who are fathers and prayed for a young boy in the congregation who's father died. Again, these were good things to do, but I wondered about the men sitting next to me that are unable to have children of their own. These men and women tell me that they really do rejoice with their brothers and sisters who have children. They pray for them, and they help raise the children up in the faith, just like they committed to do when the children were baptized/dedicated. We support our families, but when will we start supporting the other brothers and sisters in our congregations? When will we surround them with prayer and love, and welcome them into our lives without excluding them because of their own pain? When will we hear the pain of these couples among us?

James 3:1-12 The Power of Words

I want to start this morning by playing a clip from an episode of the Andy Griffith Show. In this episode, Andy has come into the drug store to purchase sulfur powder because Barney had cut his finger while he was cleaning his gun. Aunt Bee, Emma, and Clara Lindsey were in the drug store talking, and that’s where we’ll pick it up.

[View Andy Griffith, Those Gossipin’ Men Clip here.]

In Mayberry, Andy and Barney saw the results of the women’s gossip when the town thinks Barney has been killed. Unfortunately, the men of Mayberry are no less prone to gossip when Aunt Bee tests them. A shoe salesman comes into town, and Aunt Bee plants suspicions in Andy and Barney’s minds that the man is not what he claims. Before long, the men think that the salesman is a talent scout for a tv show and they arrive at his door to display their talents. The town’s actions are directly related to the words they have been speaking. Words have power.

We experience the power of words in our own lives. A friend calls and tells us she’s in trouble, and we tell her that we don’t have time for her. We have just told her that we don’t really care about her. We tell a bitter parent that we love them and watch them break down into tears and ask for forgiveness. Our words have power to heal or destroy. Throughout Scripture we see the power of the words we speak. In Genesis 1, we read, “And God said ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” “‘Let the earth be separated from the waters,’ and it was so.” “‘Let the earth be filled with living creatures,’ and it was so.” God’s word has creative power. He speaks and the universe is created. He speaks and plants and animals are created. He speaks and humans are created. But this was not a one-time act. Gabriel appears before Mary and says, “Behold the Spirit of the Lord will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you…And you will conceive and bear a son.” And Mary responds, “Let it be with me according to your word.” And it is. Mary has a baby and names him Jesus. God’s word is creative and powerful.

We continue to see the power of words throughout the rest of the Bible. Elijah tells king Ahab that it will not rain in Israel for 3 years, and it doesn’t. Jonah goes to Ninevah and prophesies that God is going to judge the city and destroy it. The whole city repents. Jesus and his disciples pass a fig tree that is not bearing fruit; Jesus curses it and it withers. When Mary Magdalene comes to Jesus, she receives forgiveness for her many sins at his word. The apostles meet a lame beggar, Peter says, “In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” The beggar does.

We like to think that our words are meaningless. You don’t have to stand on a playground long before you hear a child chant, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” The truth is, though, that words do hurt us. Our words have the power to heal or condemn, to bless or curse. We have been trained well to use words instead of actions, but our words are no less of an indication of what’s in our hearts. We use our voices to tear others down and to hurt those we care about most.

James 3:3-6 “the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

Last summer I worked as the director of Cliff Drive Care Center’s summer camp. This is a program for elementary school age children to learn through directed and free play and to learn to follow God while they interact. We had one boy who struggled constantly with anger. I spent a lot of time with Nick teaching him to use words when he was angry instead of hitting or kicking. He learned to go get his journal when he was mad and to write his anger instead of using violence. It was better for Nick to write than punch, but his words still displayed his angry and violent spirit; his words were a reflection of his heart.

James tells us that “All kinds of beasts, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures are being subdued and have been subdued by human beings, but no one can subdue the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” This is quite an amazing statement! All kinds of beasts are being subdued. Israel was not a place where the wilderness was friendly. If you ventured away from cities and roads, you were likely to be attacked by the wild beasts, lions, ostriches, wolves, and the like, and you did not necessarily expect to survive. The wilderness is not really any more friendly today. If I travel away from home in Nevada, I’m liable to run into a rattlesnake or grizzly bear. I don’t think that I would be much of a threat to either of them. But James is right, human kind is subduing these animals. The bears that show up in town are tranquilized and taken back into the mountains before they can hurt anyone. Doctors have used the rattlesnakes’ own venom to create an anecdote for their bite. Biologists used sounds to get the whales Delta and Dawn to turn back into the Pacific Ocean when they swam up the Sacramento Delta.

For James, subduing these animals is easy. All kinds of beasts are being subdued and have been subdued by human beings. There is no discussion of how humans fail to subdue wild animals. James just states that we do. We know better. We know that these wild animals are never fully tame. In 2003, Roy Horn was attacked by one of his own tigers at the Mirage in Las Vegas. He had worked with these animals every day for years, and he knew how to interact with them. He knew the personality of each tiger, and they followed his commands. This relationship did not prevent the tiger from attacking. Just this year we watched as the crocodile hunter was skilled by a sting ray. He probably knew more about these wild animals than almost anyone on the planet; he spent his life with these creatures, but in the end, the wild animals were not really controllable. The wild beasts were still wild.

If our experience teaches us that wild animals are not completely subdued by humans, how can James tell us that all kinds of beasts are being subdued? If we look around and see that wild animals are untamable, why does James use this as his example? He sets up quite a contrast for us: humans subdue wild animals but they cannot subdue their own tongues. If subduing animals is truly out of our grasp, then how much more impossible is it for us to tame our own tongues?

Our anger comes out in our words, someone cuts us off on the freeway and normally peaceful people start yelling at other drivers. We laugh with our friends, but then we spread deceitful gossip about them. We let minor differences divide us from those around us, and we spitefully attack the other side. And these things happen in churches and families where we care about each other and know each other. In spite of all of our desires to show those around us how much we love them, our tongues are unpredictable, and we too often find ourselves saying things that we later regret and for which we have to ask forgiveness. But again, our actions are no surprise to James. Look at verse 9. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brethren, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brethren, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

What then, do we do with our tongues? If it is impossible for us to subdue and master our own tongues since we cannot even subdue the wild animals, how can we follow James’ instruction to be consistent in our praise? How can we subdue our tongues to be faithful followers of Jesus Christ?

James is clear that we cannot subdue our own tongues, but he is also clear that God’s power is great. Just a little bit later in chapter 4, James writes, “Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.” We are unable to transform our tongues, but God is more than able to sanctify us and make us holy. The Holy Spirit transforms us as he changes our spirits and draws us up into the life of Christ. The Bible tells us that “if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!” We were creatures who were consumed with ourselves. We were broken and unstable, and we were unable to conquer the sin that reigned in our lives. But in Christ the power of sin is broken and we are brought into the new creation where Christ rules in power. The founder of Methodism, John Wesley, was comforted by the knowledge that although sin remained in his life, it did not reign over his life. He was victorious over sin because of the blood of Jesus Christ.

If you are anything like me, you rejoice that Christ has brought a new creation, but you still wrestle with sin in your own life. It seems that we can never escape it. The moment we have been set free from one sin, we begin to see that there is a different one waiting below the surface. This is part of the process of sanctification. The Holy Spirit begins to transform us little by little until we become the clear reflections of Jesus. The characteristics of our sinful natures begin to fall away. Paul lists them in Galatians 5: “Sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.” In their place, the Spirit gives us good fruit: “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” And we are comforted by the knowledge that we are being transformed, but praying for transformation doesn’t seem to be quite enough. After all, James repeatedly tells us to change our actions.

This is where our tradition is our greatest resource. We are Methodist Christians after all. The early church was given the name Christians – little Christs. They were imitating the life of their Savior. The early Methodists were given that name because they lived their lives according to the method laid out in Scripture. They met together every night and devoted their entire lives to studying the Bible and serving their neighbors. They relied upon the grace of God to transform their lives, but they participated in the “means of grace,” the practices God uses to transform us, to allow the Spirit to transform them.

This is also our path to transformation. This is our path to subduing our tongues and bringing our words to conform to the example of Christ. We participate in the means of grace. The first is to gather together to worship the Lord. You are here; you are seeking God’s presence in this place and opening your lives to be transformed as the Spirit speaks to you, to be transformed as you allow your hearts to be convicted by the Word of God as it is read, to be transformed as you bow your head and speak with the Living God.

We receive communion every month. God has promised that he will be present as we partake of the bread and cup, and we trust that he will continue to teach us as we come together, as one body. Together we pray for forgiveness, and any divisions that separate us are submitted to Jesus. Communion is a means of grace.

We read the Bible to learn what God has to say to us and to learn who God is. We read to grow closer to the Lord who is revealed in Scripture’s pages. Reading the Bible is also a means of grace; the Word begins to soak into our minds and hearts. We begin to think of our neighbors and enemies as children of God because the Bible tells us that God loves them. We begin to pray for peace because the Bible teaches us that Jesus came to bring reconciliation. We stop yelling at others because our hearts are transformed into love instead of bitterness.

Finally, we gather together in small groups; and this too is a means of grace. In small groups, we ask each other how we are growing in our faith. We ask if we are following God faithfully or if we are struggling. We pray for each other and help each other when we are struggling to be faithful. God gives us grace by giving us each other to love us and support us and to grow with us. In these small groups, we have the opportunity to tell each other when our tongues are controlling us instead of God controlling our tongues. We tell each other when the words we have spoken have caused pain instead of love. We learn to speak words of repentance and forgiveness, following Jesus who spoke forgiveness to the sinners who gathered at his feet. And as we receive grace, God transforms our bodies and our tongues.

So, as we follow James’ command to subdue our tongues, we trust God to transform us, knowing that we will never be able to subdue our tongues ourselves. But we don’t stop seeking transformation. We pray for the Holy Spirit to sanctify us and make us holy. We pray for the Spirit to transform us and change us into the image of Christ. And we participate in the practices of the church, the means of grace, which God has provided for us. We worship together, pray together, read Scripture together, and participate in small groups together. As we live our lives in the pattern of worship, we trust the Spirit to transform our tongues to match the praise we give to God. This is good news. Will you join me in praising God for his transforming power.